1,2,3,4...he's five!

Oh my word...my little man is now 5.

How did this happen that Collin became 5!?
This birthday hit me big time. I found myself crying just at the mention of it to anyone...
He was so excited for it. I think this was the first time he actually understood birthday. He got that this was the day he was born, that it means he's getting bigger and older. And I understood it too...
He was so cute about it. He told me that when he woke up on the 24th he would be bigger ( because five means bigger ) and that his voice would be different. Ha! It was so cute. When he woke up that morning and I said " Wake up Collin. It's your birthday! " he said " It is my birthd....HEY! My voice is just the same! "
He was less than pleased. I on the other hand, found it cute.

He got dressed in his birthday outfit of his favourite colours with his new birthday tie ( in his favourite colour )He was most excited by the birthday ribbon I made him to wear that day. He was really thrilled to know that everyone would know it was his birthday.
After school we had family over for ;
dinner, cake
and presents



This was all he'd asked for this year :D

Vaughn got a few things
too so he'd leave Collin's
gifts alone haha

He had a great time. And now my little baby, my first little 5lb 15oz baby is a 5 year old who understands so many things. Who's growing and learning everyday. Who's the best darn 5 year old I ever could have raised myself. I love you Collin.!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

UGH....it's only been 3 weeks and Vaughn managed to get a hold of Collin's violin bow this morning and pull all the hair out of it.
It's not even ours it's borrowed from the teacher.
I woke Collin up for school, got his clothes together, walked out to the living room and Vaughn is destroying it. UGH. He has been told he can't touch it ( but he's 2 this is what they do )

From what I see online these things run upwards of $50 some of them into the 4 digits.... God help me, let it be a $50 one. Not that I wanted to waste $50 on replacing the horse hair of a bow we don't own.
Can't I just give a horse a mane trimming and hand it over?

learning how to swing on his own ( so far not too successful ) He'll get it.
My sunny boy
He actually looks like he'll be 5 any day :(
he loves swinging. As a newborn he'd calm right down in the baby swing at home.
just a smile for the camera
wind in their hair
Handy Manny and Mr. Lopart
Digging away in the sand

catch up

I need to play a little catch up here, it's been awhile!

It has been so gorgeous out lately. I've just had to take the kids to the park every single day.
It's too nice out not to be out there.
Also, if we aren't going the second Vaughn wakes up from his nap, a god awful shitstorm of a tantrum ensues. I definitely don't want to spend the beautiful day inside but if he starts screaming at me to go to the park and literally crying for what must be 3/4 of forever, am I supposed to reward him for that and actually go to the park?
On the other hand, am I also supposed to punish Collin who did nothing wrong, and not go to the park?

Oh the trials of having more than one child.

Mike teases me because I am "The Queen of Fair" if one of them gets a cookie, so does the other. If one gets a $5 toy the other one has to get a toy of the same value or something that equals the same. I don't do for one without doing for the other. He thinks I am overly thorough at this. But at my house growing up ( and even now ) there are definitely favourites played. I don't ever want one thinking they don't deserve exactly what the other one deserves or that one means more to me than the other.

Do any of you have techniques for these sort of problems? If one doesn't deserve say a trip to the park because of a tantrum how do you settle that without taking the trip from the child who does deserve it?
( something like a cookie is obviously a lot easier, you're bad= no cookie. Your brother is good= still gets his cookie and you tough it out. )

LEMON CAKE!

This was the best damn lemon cake I have ever had in my life.
EVER. Up until this year ( 2010 ) I was THE WORST baker that ever existed.
I have vowed to get better at it. Collin is always asking me why I can't bake him things
so I am trying! So far...really good!

Better than ice cream

Better than ice cream. ( the sob story )

It's really crazy how much a child changes.
I find myself staring at them in amazement everyday thinking " How do you know to ask me ' is it suppa time yet mama? ' You're only 2! "

It seemed like a time not so long ago I would say " The ball is over there >>> look it's over there. Just turn..right there. Behind you..." and there was no way they were understanding that.
Now if I say do you want to play catch? Collin can do it with a baseball mitt....how is that possible!!

I remember holding them the minute I had them and thinking "I'm your mama. You are mine and I am yours. I will be there every minute of your life. You will be my everything. I am responsible for this tiny human. This tiny human needs me to be in a safe place to sleep, to be fed, changed, bathed. I am solely responsible for another human."

Now my worries are things like, did they put their toys away? Where on earth did all their socks go? How can one child NEED ( and he NEEDS ) all these stuffed animals?

Being a mama is truly one of the most rewarding, hard, fun, love-filled job you could give a woman.

They really exceed my expectations and blow my mind everyday.
In 10 days my tiny baby, my first, itsy-bitsy, 5lb 15 oz, blue eyes, white haired baby will be 5.
He's still the smallest kid in his class ( which deep down I love, I want him tiny forever ) but his hair is brown now, it isn't full of ringlets. He doesn't call Ketchup " tepet" and eat it by the spoonful now. His name went from " Cow-win" to " Col LLIIIIIINNNNNUH! "

Vaughn can ask to watch the Ninja Turtles. Everyday he says " Dada go to work mama"
This is a kid who developed slowly, we had an infant toddler development worker come to help him.
He started to walk one year and 2 months ago. It seems like a few months ago. He is a kid who knows everything that is going on around him. He's a shining example of the " kids are watching more closely than you know ". If I say something like " hmm where did I put my phone." He'll say " I get yo phone mama! I do it! " and in he'll trot seconds later, phone in hand.
He knows where EVERYTHING is. Lose your keys, wallet, clicker,...what you need is a Vaughn. He knows where they are!
If he does something bad he'll look at me and say " I go to time out right now Mama! "
I can't believe there was a time we worried he may have had autism. He can feed the dog and unload the dishwasher now. He can do chores....shouldn't he be crying for breastmilk and napping the day away. How did he get so big?

I'm starting to feel sad at all the changes. I love watching them grow and change and know that all my hard work with them pays off but I still miss waking up at 3 am to breastfeed and stare at their cute little faces and watch them watch me, listen to them make the cute little feeding noises, I miss swaddling them up and carrying them around in a babywrap.
Sigh, I'm not doing well with the whole growing up thing.

I remember how annoyed I used to get at stranger saying things like " Oh, they grow up so fast! " and " In the blink of an eye they'll be in school."
I thought it was so cliche and i found it annoying. Honestly, I don't know if any truer words have been spoken.
One day I was 18 and just had a gut feeling. I took a pregnancy test 3 days before my birthday and 9 months later my life changed with Collin.
One day I was hanging out with friends and going to school, having parties, sleeping till 2 or 3 pm and now I play with puppets, I potty train, I bake cupcakes, I wait at a bus stop to see my smiling 4 year old and hear about his day at school.

Having another child right now terrifies me. We aren't ready for another one right yet but remembering how sweet all of it is makes me miss having a baby. It makes me sad to see them become independent. I'm needed for food, love, and cleaning.
Collin can dress himself, Vaughn can get the toothpaste on his toothbrush and brush his teeth.
They're growing up. It's happening so fast and it's a wonderful thing to be a part of and it's sad.
I know they will do new adorable things and then one day I will miss those but on days like today I miss my tiny babies.

How can it be possible that 6 years ago this august I found out I was having my first baby that would change everything. I remember shaking on the bathroom floor, crying hysterically. My friends there with me and then my mom came home from work and walked into the bathroom asking if everything was ok, my best friend sat on the test to hide it but no one hid the box.
My mom sat beside me and said " ahhhh, it's all going to be ok Felicia."
and I screamed back at her " for YOU maybe. I am going to have a baby! My life is OVER! My life is ruined!!! " I couldn't stop crying and shaking.
It all seems silly now that I could have thought somehow Collin was " ruining my life "
He is the best thing that ever happened. He made me such a better person, he made me so emotional, he made me love other people, he made me know it's ok to cry, I am strong, I'm important and if nothing else I have one person who needs ME. Now, I have 2 someone's who need me. And even when it's tough it's nice to be needed and know at the end of the day in the next room there are 2 sleeping boys who think I am better than ice cream.

Vaughn & Collin

Today was one of those days...
But I got a lot done. Grocery shopping ( at 2 different stores )
Bought the boys their wedding outfits!!
Collin and I went for lunch together.
He got a new car and Vaughn got some Handy Manny toys.
I got some new food. Trying to eat healthier...I needed new healthy snacking foods.
I figure if I keep track on here I won't eat nearly as much crud! lol

Chicken, boccoli, asparagus, pickles, olives and beetsfor dessert - no fat plain yogurt, golden raspberries, blueberries, strawberries and granola
It was a little bitter but the blueberries made it nice.
And because Collin asked to make his Grandma birthday cupcakes I did.
Each gets a special colour. I'm getting a lot better at this baking thing!

VIOLIN!

For Collin's birthday this year we've signed him up for violin lessons!
Ever since I found out I was pregnant with him I knew I wanted him to play. He loved it. It was really excited. He did such a wonderful job. He's a quick learner. I was so proud. It was adorable! I'm excited to see how he'll be doing next year ^_^


























I love this jacket he's wearing. It was my brothers jacket 23 years ago.

Just another day!

The kids found some pine cones on the ground at Collin's bus stop yesterday and desperately wanted to bring them home and they started to pick " special " ones. So I didn't want a pile of these flaking all over the house, but I couldn't make them toss away their special pine cones!! so quickly I grabbed some fallen branches and we set home with all the goods.Collin showcased the branch
and we made a little outdoor mobile to hang above their toys. Collin didn't want any glitter etc he wanted it to look just like a tree!

This is how Collin sleeps every night...usually they're much more unorganized but since I just put new sheets on I line them up for him. I don't know how he sleeps in all the chaos but I think he'd die if I took them off his bed .

Man do I love green food! mmmm broccoli, asparagus, water chestnuts and chicken! Mmmm dinner. I wish I was eating this again right now haha

And Vaughn wanted everyone to see how long his Halloween pumpkin has lasted! I don't see this thing dying anytime soon either. It's a monster!

I can't get enough of this spring weather! Please don't let this be a cruel joke, I can't handle any more snow! I swear I get seasonal depression. I want to be at the park with the boys all day, playing and reading books. I can't wait to be out all day walking around and losing this weight I seemed to have gained over the winter.
I want to look fantastic in my wedding dress so we're gonna be walking and running around like crazy! Sorry in advance boys...not that I think they'll mind haha.

I finally got Collin's 5th birthday planned out. I can't believe my man will be five! Where do the years go?
As his gift I have signed him up for violin lessons! I am so very excited he is a little nervous but also excited. He starts on Thursday!

Today Vaughn and I just strolled around town and played at the park. It was another gorgeous day. I can't wait for summer I have a feeling it will be the best one. And for the month of August it will be my first MARRIED one!!

A day well done

Gosh, what a beautiful day today! + 10 !!
It was so nice to be outside ALL day. I got some wedding things done and a lot of grocery shopping.

I took Vaughn to Chapters to play with the train set first. He LOVES it. We spent 45 mins playing with it. So cute. Then I got to drop him with my nana for his nap so I could head out alone until Mike was off work. Where we then went BACK to Chapters for some wedding goods lol

When the kids were fast asleep I got to sit down for some artwork.

Then I made a delicious chili for dinner...mmmmmm
followed by dessert
a double layer chocolate cake with a chocolate chip cookie dough filling
topped with chocolate icing!

Our week at a glance

Bobblehead Collin.

Couch naps.

Slow dancing with mama.

Brotherly bonding.

No one ever wants Dada to go to work!

Giovanni passed out on the couch in the warm sunshine yesterday afternoon.
I love when they randomly fall asleep. I find it extremely adorable.

The Very Fun Day

Collin had so much fun with this. He told me a story, drew the photos and glued the flowers, while I wrote the story and sewed the buttons on. Vaughn wasn't too interested. He drew his own photo beside us but refused to let me put it in our book lol. He's not always the most cooperative but he had his own fun and in the end that's all that really matters. I try to keep in mind they aren't the same person and won't always enjoy the same things. So I the next day we built and painted wooden cars for Vaughn. He was much more into that!
Collin took this to school and his teacher read it for the class. ( hence the water mark on the front page lol )