Friday, February 26, 2010

Giovanni's birth

(taken by Desiree of )

Giovanni Michael Berardi
A name I wasn't too sure of until the minute we saw him but it's so perfect now.
The second time around I was definitely a lot more comfortable. Comfortable in my pregnancy and my birth. We had photos taken during the birth. I am going to share some, so avoid those for the squeemish. I've blurred some of the unnecessaries ;) I personally find them beautiful and empowering, then again it's my birth, so you may feel differently.

I actually had acupuncture to induce my labour the day before he was born. He was due the day my best friend passed away. The one year anniversary and I just couldn't have that. I just knew deep in my heart that would happen and even her mom assured me it would just be like one life ending so another could start. I couldn't help feeling like every year on his birthday I would have a piece of me weeping. I didn't want that for him.
So 2 days before he was due I got the acupuncture. Which evidently works.

The night before, the same as Collin I had that tight then release feeling in my tummy.
But it was very mild and again I slept all night. The next morning around 10:30 am I called my boyfriend and said " mmm I think I am going into labour, so you may want to head over."
I didn't rush anything or call my midwife because labour takes HOURS right? Wrong. So very wrong. Mike got here about 20 minutes later and I was in the shower with Collin. I was crippled over in pain and could barely move. This wasn't normal to me. Collin had taken hours, I walked my dogs, not going to happen this time. Mike helped me from the shower and I got Mike to call my nana and tell her she needed to come get Collin, as per the plan.
I called my midwife and left her a message when I could muster the breath.
I called to let her know the little man was on the way, but I got her machine too. Mike called his sister and said the baby was on the way. So she walked over . No one not even I understood how fast this baby was coming.
I laid on the couch screaming, poor Collin tried to lay on my stomach with me and I was screaming " GET HIM OFF, GET HIM OFF!" He was pretty frightened. My Nana showed up to get him, this I barely recall.
My midwife Lisa came then Elena showed up ( Mike's sister ). I was so grateful when all was said and done to have these people there. They kept me calm, took disgusting photo's, held my hand, and did whatever needed to be done. I was apparently just laying on the couch screaming. ( Mike, I do believe had been sent off to get supplies from Lisa's car ) She checked me and I wasTEN cm dilated. It was time to move me to my bed. I've been in labour maybe 40 mins now.
From the beginning we had planned a home birth I was excited to lay in my own tub, sit in my bed and let it all progress.
So we moved to my bed and she went to check me again, and my water literally exploded. I felt mortified. It splattered on her and I blurted " EWWWWWW! Gross! " . Labour makes you say some strange things.
She went to leave the room, possibly to clean herself off and I yelled " NO I need to push! "
She walked back and said " oh wow, yes you do, his head is crowning. "
I took one deep breathe and pushed his head out. As I did that you could HEAR the rip. I pushed once more, reached down and pulled up my baby. It was 11:49 am. This baby came into this world with such a rush and such force and it is still how he is to this day. If he wants to do something no one will stand in his way. He does this according to his plan not anyone else's.
I tore quite bad with Vaughn, I still don't understand why I wasn't sewn up. No one warns you about the peeing after, or the pooping, or showering. How horrible it stings. My word it is worse than giving birth!
I feel terrible for those of you with the 24hr + birth stories but for those of you with the one hour birth stories I feel for you too. Your body does not have the time to prepare for what it goes through in one hour. I always loved that Collin was 4 hours, but one hour. I do not hope for this again.
I got an infection in my uterus after, I couldn't sit properly for 2 months after, I bled for 12 weeks straight eventhough he was the best breastfeeder out there and all the while he had colic.
My midwives speculate that " the next one " will probably be even shorter. Lord willing it will not!
I loved having a homebirth and would never plan another one at a hospital. It is the best atmosphere you could ask for in your most private of moments.

At birth he looked just like his daddy, and now he looks just like me. He's such a beautiful free-spirited little dude.

I love my boys. I loved their births. It is such a powerful moment that I am so happy to share .

Collin's birth

(not the most flattering story but hey it's the only one I can find from the day after he was born on this computer lol )
I love reading about everyone's birth stories. They are such a beautiful empowering thing. I've decided to write out mine, not only for others but so I will have them written down and can't forget a moment.

Collin James Dalton Berardi-Ludgate ( kid with the words longest name, I didn't consider his father and I splitting when I gave him 2 middle names )

It was March 23 and I was heading to bed when my stomach felt almost like it was pulsing. That tight then release feeling. I turned to Geoff ( his father ) and James ( my brother ) and said "This baby is coming tonight or tomorrow. "
No one believed me because apparently first time moms have overdue babies and this was 2 weeks before my due date.
I was lucky enough that I actually slept that whole night through. A blessing! I went up to the washroom and noticed I was spotting, which I assumed was the mucous plug working its way out. I ran down to Geoff, more excited than nervous. My contractions weren't really that terrible. I feel I was pretty lucky. By the time I went to see the midwives they measured me and said I was 6 cm! I couldn't believe it. That really knocked me back a peg. I thought I had HOURS ahead of me. This was shortly after 4 pm. So she told me she could take me to the hospital or meet me there. I said I needed to go get my mother, pack my bag because I hadn't had that ready, and get my mother from work and my brother from school. She thought I was insane and maybe I was but I did go and do each of those things. Can you imagine seeing a woman IN LABOUR at 6 cm walking not one but two pitbulls down the street.
I think I really frightened some people at my mom's work pacing down the hall gripping my 9 month belly.
When I got to the hospital it was about 6 pm I'd been in active labour for 2 hours now, my midwives tried to get me into a bed but I needed to be perched beside the toilet. I threw up so much during that pregnancy right until the final few hours.
I got into the bed and felt like I was on fire! My skin had never felt so hot. Worse than any fever I had ever had. I kept screaming that I was burning. I am so grateful to have had my little brother there who was only 15 at the time, but honestly he was the greatest help. He ran to get cold clothes for my face and held them on there. I started to panic knowing this is happening! I AM HAVING A BABY. I guess it hadn't really hit me, I was 19 and had been in a relationship for 3 months and became pregnant. Oh my word! I started to FREAK OUT. Panic had set in and I lost it. I started screaming " I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS! " My midwife told me calmly " Felicia, you CAN do this. "
I snapped back " I KNOW I CAN do this this! I just don't WANT to do this! "
Where she reminded me, I don't have a choice.
I had planned a natural birth the whole way through, I hate even taking a tylenol for a headache. They checked my and I was only 7 cm. I had been progressing so well and now after 2 hours I had moved ONE cm. I was livid. My midwife said she would break my water and it should rush things along. And boy did it ever.
Next thing I know I was screaming " give me an epidural, cut this thing out of me! I just want a c-section! "
I am so glad my midwives understood I really didn't want any of that. I was just loosing my head. I began to hyperventilate. So again, thank goodness for my little brother who cupped his hands over my mouth and helped me to breathe and calm down.
Minutes later I was 10 cm and the told me to push.
I pushed about 5 times and my little boy was out. They were rushing to get blankets on me because I had told them I didn't want that " gooey baby" on my bare skin...well that goes right out the window the minute you see them. I reached down and grabbed him and pulled him to me. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. My eyes welled with tears and I was in my own little world, just him and I until I heard my mom say " He's not breathing. he's turning blue." Just like that I snapped right back...Omg I thought he IS blue, he's NOT breathing. I screamed " BREATHE BABY! " and the Midwives ran to get something to suck the mucous from him and before they got it he let out the most beautiful scream.
I nursed him right away, showed him off to everyone who came and left the hospital by midnight. He was born at 8:35 pm
He always slept through the night and needed to be woken for feedings. He was the best baby anyone could ask for. And now he's an amazing, almost 5 year old, mama's boy. He is my life.

Friday fun!

The day started out pretty rotten. Blueberries on the floor, Collin coughing, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed...
So we got our gear together and built a snowman!
It really is amazing how no matter how down you feel a smile from your kid(s) can fix it all.
Collin laid on the snow and just licked it...but Vaughn who is usually the snow licker tried to roll giant snowballs and give the snowman some arms. He was rather impressed that he and the snowman were the same size haha.
Collin said our snowman had to have a mustache because Mike " has " a mustache...(Mike hasn't had a mustache in like 8 months but he's held onto the idea that he should have one). So I had to use the dirty snow from the road and give our snowman a mustache haha.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Cake! Cake! Cake!

Today I test wedding cake ( ugh by myself since Mike couldn't get the day from work )
I do not even like am I to know which one tastes best!
I just want it to LOOK lovely.

She's making a chocolate fudge cake filled with chocolate chip cookie and a peanut butter buttercream icing, and a red velvet cake with chocolate chip cookie inside and chocolate icing.

We're not the most traditional people in the world so we're looking for a really fun beautiful cake. I drew up what I wanted but I am also bringing these photos as reference.

Wish me luck!

Which cake flavour sounds best to you?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My first blog, my first post...I am so nervous! It's like your first day of high school! Will people like my blog? Will I like other people's? Oh dear!

Let's start by saying I am a stay at home mama. It wasn't always this way. My work closed almost a year ago and now I stay home with my 2 sons, Collin who will be 5 next month and Giovanni who's 2 1/2.
I'm looking for new crafts and game to play with them. I want to know what all of you do for fun with your little ones? Cheap, fun ideas that work in the winter!

I'm in the middle of wedding planning, we're getting married this July! So I am sure some posts will include the stress and anxiety that comes with that.

There will probably be some of my photography and some humorous links but..

mostly, I want a place to share my love, frustration, questions, hopes, and dreams about my little guys. A place for positive feedback!
<3 I look forward to getting to know you and you me!