Friday, February 26, 2010

Collin's birth

(not the most flattering story but hey it's the only one I can find from the day after he was born on this computer lol )
I love reading about everyone's birth stories. They are such a beautiful empowering thing. I've decided to write out mine, not only for others but so I will have them written down and can't forget a moment.

Collin James Dalton Berardi-Ludgate ( kid with the words longest name, I didn't consider his father and I splitting when I gave him 2 middle names )

It was March 23 and I was heading to bed when my stomach felt almost like it was pulsing. That tight then release feeling. I turned to Geoff ( his father ) and James ( my brother ) and said "This baby is coming tonight or tomorrow. "
No one believed me because apparently first time moms have overdue babies and this was 2 weeks before my due date.
I was lucky enough that I actually slept that whole night through. A blessing! I went up to the washroom and noticed I was spotting, which I assumed was the mucous plug working its way out. I ran down to Geoff, more excited than nervous. My contractions weren't really that terrible. I feel I was pretty lucky. By the time I went to see the midwives they measured me and said I was 6 cm! I couldn't believe it. That really knocked me back a peg. I thought I had HOURS ahead of me. This was shortly after 4 pm. So she told me she could take me to the hospital or meet me there. I said I needed to go get my mother, pack my bag because I hadn't had that ready, and get my mother from work and my brother from school. She thought I was insane and maybe I was but I did go and do each of those things. Can you imagine seeing a woman IN LABOUR at 6 cm walking not one but two pitbulls down the street.
I think I really frightened some people at my mom's work pacing down the hall gripping my 9 month belly.
When I got to the hospital it was about 6 pm I'd been in active labour for 2 hours now, my midwives tried to get me into a bed but I needed to be perched beside the toilet. I threw up so much during that pregnancy right until the final few hours.
I got into the bed and felt like I was on fire! My skin had never felt so hot. Worse than any fever I had ever had. I kept screaming that I was burning. I am so grateful to have had my little brother there who was only 15 at the time, but honestly he was the greatest help. He ran to get cold clothes for my face and held them on there. I started to panic knowing this is happening! I AM HAVING A BABY. I guess it hadn't really hit me, I was 19 and had been in a relationship for 3 months and became pregnant. Oh my word! I started to FREAK OUT. Panic had set in and I lost it. I started screaming " I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS! " My midwife told me calmly " Felicia, you CAN do this. "
I snapped back " I KNOW I CAN do this this! I just don't WANT to do this! "
Where she reminded me, I don't have a choice.
I had planned a natural birth the whole way through, I hate even taking a tylenol for a headache. They checked my and I was only 7 cm. I had been progressing so well and now after 2 hours I had moved ONE cm. I was livid. My midwife said she would break my water and it should rush things along. And boy did it ever.
Next thing I know I was screaming " give me an epidural, cut this thing out of me! I just want a c-section! "
I am so glad my midwives understood I really didn't want any of that. I was just loosing my head. I began to hyperventilate. So again, thank goodness for my little brother who cupped his hands over my mouth and helped me to breathe and calm down.
Minutes later I was 10 cm and the told me to push.
I pushed about 5 times and my little boy was out. They were rushing to get blankets on me because I had told them I didn't want that " gooey baby" on my bare skin...well that goes right out the window the minute you see them. I reached down and grabbed him and pulled him to me. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. My eyes welled with tears and I was in my own little world, just him and I until I heard my mom say " He's not breathing. he's turning blue." Just like that I snapped right back...Omg I thought he IS blue, he's NOT breathing. I screamed " BREATHE BABY! " and the Midwives ran to get something to suck the mucous from him and before they got it he let out the most beautiful scream.
I nursed him right away, showed him off to everyone who came and left the hospital by midnight. He was born at 8:35 pm
He always slept through the night and needed to be woken for feedings. He was the best baby anyone could ask for. And now he's an amazing, almost 5 year old, mama's boy. He is my life.


  1. aw, that sounds amazing, you sound amazing! and i cant beleive it didnt actually scare me! x

  2. Awe thanks! I don't think it's scary at all! It really is not as bad as it may sound, it's beautiful and empowering, and the second that baby is out and in your arms you forget about everything you just went through :)

  3. Awe ^_^ I'd only heard bits and pieces of Collin's story. Loved reading this.

  4. heh, thanks Des. I think it's all really important to remember and cherish.

  5. i love birth stories!

    i am the same way about tylenol. i took it maybe twice during my pregnancy. i planned for a natural birth, too. had an amazing team of midwives & a lovely doula. i ended up being in back labor for 20 hours before getting an epidural (at 8cm) after another 12 hours it was time to push... for 3.5 hours.

    i am so disappointed in myself for getting an epidural. i think about it ALL the time. back labor is a bitch. i hope to have my next baby at home.. my husband says it'll be my healing birth.. hehe.